Aug. 4th, 2014

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Aug. 4th, 2014 02:48 am
rai_ryu: (Nick<3)
Either you accept that the monster doesn't exist, or you accept the monster for what it is.
But you can't live while hating yourself.

Sometimes I think that I'm a terrible person. Sometimes it really worries me.
I have always tried to remember two options

a) I am not terrible, based on the evidence of the times when I am good to people, and the amount of bad things I keep myself away from

or

b) I am a terrible person and that will not change no matter what I do, so there is no point in feeling bad about it.

Either one can rationalize away the feeling, it can keep the panic away for a little longer. I don't know if it is thoughts, feelings, or actions that makes someone a bad person. I don't know what the deciding factor is.

but I know that you can't get anywhere by treating yourself as the enemy.

You have to always be on your own side, no matter what.
rai_ryu: (Aquarium)
You can't save anyone.

That's the biggest joke that's ever been played on us. The biggest lie we've ever been taught. That we can save someone else. But you can't. No matter what you do, THEY have to save THEMSELVES. Nothing will work otherwise. No matter how hard you try.

And the opposite is also true,
and maybe it's just a bit more cruel of a lie

We're told that people can save us. That another person can save our lives.

But you've got to save yourself. It doesn't work any other way.

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rai_ryu

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