Speech

Oct. 14th, 2008 10:08 pm
rai_ryu: (Default)
As some, or none of you may know, communicating through speech is not entirely my strong point.
So, if I go out of my way to try to do it, it's a little hard to do with communication blockers put up in front of me. Having learned about communication blockers in school (lol I know I'm asexual shush), I suppose I tend to notice them often. Not that I can really do anything to change them.
So this already difficult task is made worse.
Not only that, but everything I have worked out in my head sounds stupid coming from my mouth. And, with all those blockers I get flustered and forget the plans anyway.
I know exactly what I'm trying to say, but I can never say it right, so I never get my point across.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. I understand that it's important, but when both sides aren't really trying...why would I go through the horrible struggle of trying to speak my mind?

The worst thing is when I talk and it seems like no one's listening, or that they don't really care.
Why should I talk if it won't even make a difference?

Haaaay

Apr. 12th, 2007 09:03 pm
rai_ryu: (Default)
Today I walked through the creek with Laura
We both almost froze our legs off, then realized it wasn't such a good idea
We had to climb out with a ladder which was constructed oddly, so we almost fell to out deaths
Then we had to walk to my house
it was fun though

Also, I'm growing lettuce in my room!
*so happy*
I blame my newfound obsession with gardening on my study of the Wiccan faith, and the anime Earth Girl Arjuna (actually I'm downloading the whole series, even though it will probly make me sad cause I watched it with Kate all the time....;_; )
I wanna be a farmer
Then I could be a hick like Enre

I really need to learn to meet new people.
Maybe.
I guess.

Also, I'm talking to Chelsea more regularly now (through emails)
I'm thinking of adding her back to my MSN

I don't know, for some reason I'm feeling happy and sad at the same time
I keep thinking of what's making me sad, and then spacing out, and when I snap back to reality I completely forget what it was I was thinking of. So I have no idea.

ew schoolwork...
But, I guess its getting easier
Except I hate my art teacher.
(I just got an email from Chelsea X3)
back to anger!
Apparently, since she's the art department head, she's making Mr. Fallaise (my art teacher from last semester, who's really nice), go all conformist with his teaching. He teaches the IB art class, so they have different things to do, but she's also making him do all these other things with the class that he really doesn't want to. Apparently its so bad that he says he wants to stop teaching art at our school because of her.

Working on recruitment for my lovely day of silence <3
(Nik, I can't remember if you were there when we talked about it, so you can ask Cassy or Felicity)
I know so many nice people at my school who are participating!

My dad's being an ass lately and calling girls bitches.
In my opinion its like the word "nigger" or "faggot"
Made up by asshole men to demean women
(I don't mind it if they're refferring to an actual female dog though)
Uhg, I hate my dad.
He just...pisses me off...
I need a job so I can move out.

I don't know if I can think of anything else to say

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