rai_ryu: (Enre)
Things are rough with my family. None of them are even trying to call me my proper name. My real, legal name. And none of them think they should have to, either.
All I'm asking is to be called my name (that I have been going by for years and they know it). I'm not saying you have to accept me as trans. Just say my right fucking name.
Apparently though, this shouldn't be so hard for me to deal with, cause it's not like there is such thing as gender dysphoria or anything and I am just "enjoying feeling victimized". Obviously being called the proper name means a LOT to me and they can see that. On there end, it is just a matter of they don't want to have to remember to call me Rai, so it is such a hassle.
I can't say "it is just a name, how difficult is it for you to call me that?" because then they will say "If it is just a name why does it even matter what we call you"

I wish they would put aside their entitlement for one second and realize that yes, it is a big deal. And that it's just not something one can "get over".


Jul. 5th, 2011 09:48 pm
rai_ryu: (rainbow)
I'm almost two weeks post-op!
I've got an appointment to see my surgeon for follow-up tomorrow, then we're visiting my aunt, which I hope will not be filled with awkward questions.

I got to my surgery in time, but I guess the surgery before mine took longer than expected. I was supposed to be in around 1:30, but ended up going into surgery around 5pm. So, there was lots of sitting in the waiting room. They had Friends DVDs to watch, which I found very appropriate. Since I hadn't been allowed to eat or drink from midnight the night before, I was praying that they'd put me under just so I wouldn't be able to feel the extreme hunger!
The actual surgery went off very well. I didn't wake up during it! While I was in the recovery room, I remember that just before I woke up I was having a dream about X-Men.
The first night was horrible, the pain meds made me really sick, and really drowsy. But when we saw the nurse the next day, she said I could switch to Advil and things got much better after that.

My chest looks SO good now. I am sososososososososo happy with it. Every time I go past the mirror, there's a surge of happiness. I look so cool! The scar shape the doctor gave me is perfect. Things get a little weird in my armpits, but I think that will settle out in time. I can't complain at all!
Still can't do a lot of things, cause it hurts to move certain ways, but I can put on a shirt now and also take a proper shower. My family is torturing me by swimming in the pool and saying how nice it is. I can't go swimming because it's hard for me to get up the ladder out of the pool ):

When I got back from surgery I had an email from my aunt. She is so supportive it's weird. She is catholic so I was expecting her to hate me, but instead it was a big speech about how proud she is that I am being true to myself and that I had the courage to come out.
She is even making an effort with the pronouns. In an email to my dad, she used "Zi". I'm very happy about that. Maybe she will have a good influence on him!

I am getting more and more excited as the wounds heal. It's hard to be enthused when everything is painful :P but things are looking GREAT. I can't wait for my future!

Days 12-20

Dec. 10th, 2010 11:38 am
rai_ryu: (A Neopets Christmas)
I am lazy so, I've decided to give them to you in a nice lump sum.

How you found out about LiveJournal and why you made one

I don't actually remember HOW I found out about LJ, but I think the reason I made one was so that I had an outlet to talk about my life, and also on the hopes I could make some friends online who understood me based on what I wrote. Of course, nobody has really ever "stumbled upon" my journal and thus that hasn't happened, but I'm find just ranting to the internet without anyone reading.

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Read more... )

A picture of you and your family

Me at my older sister's apartment in Toronto. My little sister is the one with long hair. My dad is taking the picture and thusly is not in it. This is my biological family though (missing my little brother who doesn't come to see us anymore)

Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Read more... )

Another picture of yourself

Me with a picture of myself being projected onto my face, courtesy of my brother.

Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Dean Freaking Winchester. First of all - I get to be a very attractive man. Second of all, I get to hunt ghosts and such things which is probably one of my dream jobs *would get yelled at by Dean for even suggesting it*. But honestly, if I found out ghosts/mythical creatures existed like in Supernatural, I would probably try very hard to get a job related to them. Maybe not HUNTING them, but perhaps studying them.
And thirdly - Castiel. "Hey Cas, come here" *poof* *stares at hime for 500 hours*

Plans/dreams/goals you have

I would love to finish a novel to my best ability, and if all works out I would love to finish ALL the novels I have planned to my best ability. It would be nice if at least one got published, but it is not a requirement.
My plans pretty much include getting a job that I actually like, only because that is necessary, and then getting an apartment with my bro (and maybe our other friends too). After that, endless conventions (maybe that is also just a dream :P)

Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Hank - In grade 6 my bro and I were "old men". He was Alfred Oldford, and I was Hank Hunk. Well, I still AM Hank Hunk sometimes. They worked in oil fields, for some reason. But then they both went senile and had to have "counsellors" escort them everywhere (and they kept stealing our cigarettes!). The teacher took away my cane because she thought it was dangerous, and then I couldn't walk.
Rairi - Cassy's pet name for me when we were dating, coming from a shortened version of "Rai Ryu".
I don't think I have any others...

Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

I frequently propose to Jamie Oliver whenever I watch his shows, but if he were to actually accept I would not like him anymore because part of how awesome he is is how much he loves his family.
I also proposed to a chicken schnitzel once but then I ate it so that kind of put a damper on things.
Being as it is, I don't picture myself romantically being with someone in the future merely because I am not dating anyone and don't have crushes that aren't on people from Supernatural. Although I do imagine me and my bro living together, but clearly not in a romantic sense.


rai_ryu: (Default)

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