rai_ryu: (Nick<3)

Modern society is so wholly unsuited for a soul like mine.

As the Goo Goo Dolls say, "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?"

Your heart and soul don't really matter, everyone is judging you by how successful you are.

Maybe online people would, but in the real world when someone wants to know what you're doing, "today I worked on not wanting to die" is never gonna be an acceptable answer to their question. You always need to have a job and nobody's gonna care if you're inches away from the edge unless it impedes your ability to work.

This is a bit of a sulking post but sometimes this is the only thing I can think about.

rai_ryu: (Default)
This is gonna be long and rambly cause I haven't slept much, cause I slept over at Jess's last night :D
hmm, first I think I'll post some Meatloaf lyrics...cause I love this song, and its playing right now ^^'

I know that I will never be politically correct
And I dont give a damn about my lack of ettiquette
As far as Im concerned the world could still be flat
And if the thrill is gone then its time to take it back
If the thrill is gone then its time to take it back
Who am i?
Why am I here?
Forget the questions someone get me another beer

Whats the meaning of life?
Whats the meaning of it all?
You gotta learn to dance
Before you learn to crawl
You gotta learn to dance
Before you learn to crawl

So sign up, all you raw recurits
Throw away those designer suits
You got your wepons cocked, your targets in your sights
Thers a party raging, somewhere in the world
You gotta serve your country, gotta service your girl
Youre all enlisted in the army of the night

And I aint in it for the power
And I aint in it for my health
I aint in it for the glory of anything at all
And I sure aint in it for the wealth
But Im in it til its over
And I just cant stop
If you want to get it done, you have to do it yourself
And I like my music like I like my life
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else

They got a file on me thats a mile long
And they say that theyve got all of the proof
That Im just another case of arrested development
Im just another wasted youth

They say that Im in need of some radical discipline
They say I gotta face the truth
That Im just another case of arrested development
Im just another wasted youth

They say Im wild and Im recklous
I should be acting my age
Im an impressionable child
In a tulmoultous world
And they say Im at a difficult stage

But it seems to me to the contrary
Of all the crap theyre gonna put on the page
That a wasted youth is better by far
Then a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Then a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Then a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Then a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Then a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Then a wise and productive old age

If you want my views of history
Then theres something you should know
The three men I admire most
Are curly, larry, moe
Dont worry about the future
Sooner or later its the past if they say the thrill is gone then its time to take it back
If the thrill is gone then its time to take it back

So sign up, all you raw recurits
Throw away those two bit suits
You got your wepons cocked, your targets in your sights
Thers a party raging, somewhere in the world
You gotta serve your country, gotta service your girl
Youre all enducted in the army of the night
And I aint in it for the power
And I aint in it for my health
I aint in it for the glory of anything at all
And I sure aint in it for the wealth
But Im in it til its over
And I just cant stop
If you want to get it done, you got to fight for yourself
And I like my music like I like my life
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
-----------------------------------------------

lol, lots of repetition?
Its so cool though XD

Ew, my dad is annoying.
I need a job and then I can graduate and move out and disown my biological family.
That'll rock. and I'll change my name too <3

Hm, something smells like feet...

I was thinking about school and how I don't seem to be doing any of my projects (well, actually I'm doing them, but I just haven't finished any of them yet...)
But its like...what really does it matter if I do them? I'm happy with what I'm doing, and don't you think, me being happy would be better for my future than stressing out over projects?

Hm, y'know, I wish I had a girlfriend D:
x5million

and what else was I gonna rant about?
If Cassy was still online I could stop ranting and then just RP with her, cause like, I'd have something to do. But she's offline so I'm gonna keep ranting cause there's nothing else to do.

Anyone know any good dance music bands?

I have to buy gala tickets eventually
as well as a student card...
how troublesome...

no really, what smells like feet!?

hm...oh yes! I saw Superdogs yesterday! It was cool because the dogs were so cute, but other than that, it was really weak. For one thing, it was sponsored by Iams. and if you go to iamscruelty.com then you'll know my opinion on Iams. Another thing, the host they used...he was some old man, and he couldn't remember any of the dogs' names. Or what they were doing. it pissed me off so much.
I got Chloe a Superdog bandanna, she looks so cute in it ^^
ew, which reminds me! I was bringing her up in the elevator, and this grumpy old man was like "has anyone ever told you that dog's oversized"
so I was like "yeah"
and he was like "so what are you gonna do, are you gonna leave?"
ew, I wanted to beat him up. He pissed me off. Who wants to bet that in school he was the annoying tattle-tale type?
Chloe wasn't even doing anything. D:<

Which also reminds me XD
I saw my friend Victoria at school, and I told her that my room caught on fire, and then like, the exact second after I said it she burst into hysterical laughter and said "You did it didn't you!? You pyro!!"
it was hilarious XD
it sucks that all my lighters got burned
and woah, I went to see my house now and they've taken all the walls and everything outta the upstairs...so its all just like, poles. Kinda weird.
ew, which reminds me of my annoying dad again
cause he said maybe he's gonna take the master bedroom after the house gets fixed. Which is my room.
and he's annoying cause lately he's been saying how he's the 'man of the house' or the 'master of the house'. But damn, I'm more manly that him.
god, he pisses me off
actually my whole biological family does

Can't wait to move out...
I'll have a bakery/machine shop
that'd be so cool
and I could be like Jo...*swoon* <333
actually, Facts Of Life Goes To Paris was on!! Tomorrow comes part 3 of it...I never saw part one ;_;
but Jo's hitchiking or something, and she was laughing at this guy who's motorcycle kept breaking. It was actually more of a mo-ped. But the guy called Jo an 'American princess' XDDD
omg, and on the the episode when Blaire fell for the guy who was like a male version of Jo...Jo was wearing a dress!! omfg XD
It didn't really look good on her, not just cause she's like the tomboy type, but it just wasn't the right kinda dress :/
I mean, she looked good, as usual, but it didn't look as good as a dress shoulda on her. It was pink, which MAYBE wouldn't have been so bad, but then the style of the dress too...http://www.living-library.com/Snippets/Catalog%20Pink%20Party%20Dress.jpg
almost like that, except the part that goes around her shoulders was the part of the dress, and so the same kind of fabric, and it was all rufflely and reminded me of some sorta ugly flower...
the bottom was the ugly flower effect too.
pretty annoying...
purple woulda looked better on her...or green. dark green :)
Jo <333

Which reminds me...I wanna draw what Trisha and Jay were wearing to Mai's party. Jay's is awesome <3 Jay *makes kissy faces at him*
*killed by Mai*
Actually I'd rather BE Jay...how awesome would it be if I was a guy who looked like him? xD sooo awesome...
And the dress Trisha wore is so adorable.
Like Trisha *squeals over her*

This is so geeky, cause they're RP characters

Oh, and Clay...I'm trying to think of what he'd wear...but I'm only thinking of the sweater than Terra made for him...cause he wears it like, all the time XD
Clay can make me happy for weeks XD like, if something happy happens with him and Terra...then I can just sit there and squee about it XD
which is usually what I do during art class...

Mm, I have ginger ale <3
Which reminds me, since Cara was sposed to be finding me a girlfriend. Its kinda annoying because it hard to find someone who doesn't drink, which is annoying because I don't want to have to compromise on that, but I may have to. Generally because, as I'm assuming from the ones I know, most of the gay/bi girls are part of the 'rebel' crowd, and so maybe even just gay/bi to rebel against their parents. But actually its hard to find any girlfriend who's not a smoker or a pothead -___-
That's just how my school is *pukes* so annoying
But if I did have a girlfriend who drank, I think maybe...like, I'm REALLY afraid of drunk people, seriously. I'd be even more afraid if it was my girlfriend who was drunk, but back to my point...if she was gonna go to a party and drink or something, I;d probly wanna go with her...to like, keep her safe, y'know? One of the reasons I don't think drinking is good, is because it makes you stupid and people can take advantage of you.
Actually, one of the reasons I'm afraid of drunk people, is that, in the time after Cassy broke up with me that I was a wreck, and desperatly trying to get her to at least care about me a little (cause she started being a jerk a lot after that), and we were RPing (because if I'd lost the RP I woulda died), and she made her character be a jackass, and I was like, wtf? and so she told me she was drunk, which pissed me off, and then she said a lot of mean things and made me more of a wreck than I already was so...
Cause when I tell people I've had bad experiances with drunk people, they think I mean physical, but really, that hurt more than any kind of physical pain could have.
I don't like drinking because it changes people, and no matter if they're mean or not, they're different than they are normally, and it scares me...which is why I'd really be scared of my girlfriend drinking. Because she'd change and she wouldn't be her and...ok, I think I should stop cause I'm upsetting myself.

Which reminds me, Cassy got all mad when I told her Chelsea emailed me. She said I should tell her to fuck off or something. But really, isn't that a little immature?
I don't tend to hate people for things they've done to me, or even stay mad at them for a long time.
I was thinking about this actually, on friday
That anger and hate about those things is really just a joke, a lie.
Because, for the longest time, any time someone would mention something that reminded me of Cassy, I'd get mad. And so it seemed like I hated those things. But really, it was because it hurt to be reminded of her. And so I was trying to push those things away, because it hurt. And what seemed like hate was really just hiding from pain. At least I'll admit it, I guess.
And also, I don't like making people sad...or rather, I don't like making girls sad. For the most part, I don't care about guys. They can all go...lie in a ditch somewhere and be dumb as usual. But I hate it when girls are sad D: especially if its my fault.
Which brings me to the point of, men that hit girls.
I mean, some people might say, 'its sexist that men won't hit girls but they'll hit guys'. and maybe its true, but, in my opinion, it doesn't really have anything to do with thinking they're the weaker gender or anything...
See, to me, straight men, they love women, right? And if you love something, you wouldn't want it to get hurt at all, right? So that's why they wouldn't hit them. So, any man who abuses his wife/girlfriend/girls in general, has no right to call himself a man. Seriously.
This is also why I don't hit girls, or I refrain from doing it as much as possible. Like, I always wanted to beat up Amanda's (now ex)girlfriend Jill, because she was an asshole. I never met her, but...Amanda was kicked out of her house, right? And she needed a place to stay (she wasn't allowed over at my place because she got caught coming to use my computer when we weren't there, which she had permission from me for, but my dad's a jerk so...). So she called Jill, who was her girlfriend at the time, and asked if she could stay over there...but Jill said no, because she was going out drinking. Like, wtf? Your girlfriend does not have a place to sleep, but you'd rather go out and get fucking drunk than make sure she's safe? Yeah, I'm swearing, that's how much it pisses me off.
I left a really angry message on Jill's machine after that. So I wanted to beat her up, yeah.
Amanda always seems to go out with jerks :(
Which reminds me of another crappy thing about drinking...
Cause Amanda and Jill broke up cause...well, there was this girl who liked Jill, and Amanda didn't like them hanging out together, but Jill still did. And then, Amanda and Jill had plans to hang out, but then Jill went and made plans to go drinking with that other girl instead. And Amanda told her she didn't want to Jill to drink with that girl cause they'd get drunk and do stuff with that girl. And Jill wouldn't listen. She actually did end up cheating on Amanda with that other girl. But supposedly she broke up with Amanda cause Amanda was 'too immature'.
Amanda's current girlfriend ditched her to go get drunk too :(
I feel really sorry for Amanda...she dates jerks and they treat her like crap, but she always falls for them...:(
Poor girl. She's always sadding in the corner. So I go to cheer her up, cause of course, I don't like it when girls are sad.

Oh, here's another cool thing...I know this is totally NOT the way it works, but it'd be cool if it was. You know how guys will like lesbians, but get grossed out by gay guys, right? Well, I was thinking, straight guys, assumedly, love women right? Then, maybe they say "Women are the best, so I can understand why even other women would love them too".
I wish it worked that way
Too bad its just cause they're all horny bastards.

But that's what Chance was like when he found out Enre was a lesbian. He didn't care as long as she didn't go after Vichi(his wife) XD
*relates everything to RP characters*

Omg, Enre's like, my idol though <3
Actually, a very small percent of my female character are ACTUALLY bisexual or lesbian, even though a lot have girlfriends. Because they just tend to fall for the person, without caring that they're a girl or not.
Lets see, the only actual lesbians I have are like...Enre, Moranna, annd...actually I think that's all o_o. And bisexuals...lessee...Joe(short for Joanne), Lykaio, Xillia, Asa, and I think that's all...and I don't think Kiffy would really count, since she's kinda transgendered, so? And that's actually only my gay/bi girl characters, lol. But then, ones with girlfriends who aren't gay/bi...Trisha, Rosa, Melanie, Mau and Bonnie (though they're not exaclty together), um...and probly others, that I can't remember, since I'm bad at remembering. So, girls with girlfriends: Enre(it used to be Melanie, but Melanie died, so its Talim now[cassy's chara], though they're not really together yet, cause Enre's a dunce...just kidding<3 ), Moranna(she's with Yuki[cassy's chara], though not yet since she's not born yet in this RP), Lykaio(used to be Xillia, Xillia died, Lykaio lost her memory, and she's with Kiros[cassy's chara] now), Trisha(with cassy's chara Misae, though they're not together YET, but they might as well be), Rosa(with cassy's chara Ink...though I dunno if they'll be together in this RP, because I dunno if Ink'll go out with/dump Pyry)
Lol, that was a nice long rant, eh?
aw, now I feel like giving my gay/bi boys some luff <3
so, listy~
-Carmine (bi, actually he likes guys better...but somehow he ends up with Taki <3)
-Sky (gayyyy~)
-Pyry (bi, but really its only cause he's so desperate to sleep with someone he doesn't care whether they're a guy or a girl)
-Trev, Taka, and Laurent
-Pentel (well, kinda bi? But really he's more like the kind who falls for the person not the gender...and actually, I always say he's a painesexual XD cause he'd love Paine no matter if she was a guy or a girl)
and that's about it
actually now I think that sounded really stupid, so maybe I'll move on now??

what to talk about now...
Oh jeez...

I wish Cassy would come online, I wanna RP...but she should be on soon? She said she'd be gone for about an hour, and its been more about 15 minutes more than an hour.
Which reminds me, the summer before grade 9, the RP was me and Cassy's LIFE
that's all we did all day every day, except for when my sister was on the computer. We'd get hour intervals, so when my sister when on, I'd tell Cassy I'd be back in an hour. At one of these such times, during my sister's turn, we decide we're gonna go tubing at Elora Gorge, SO, I forgot about telling Cassy I'd be back in an hour, and I was gone for the whole day.
When I got back she was really pissed off XD and she made an evil plan in the RP to get back at me....how mean DX
but yeah, it was our life back then XD like, more than it is now.
I went to BC for 2 weeks I think, and I couldn't go on MSN often, but when I was at my aunt/uncle's house, I'd RP with her on the computer. And I went to vancouver island for 2 or 3 days, and the room we stayed in had no computer, but there was a computer in the lobby that you paid 2 dollars an hour or something? It didn't have MSN but I'd send big long emails talking about the RP XD lmao...couldn't live without RPness for even 2 days XD
It was awesome


OMG! Does anyone remember that one song...it went like...
"I didn't even think about the rain
no I didn't even think about the snow,
that falls down on me in the middle of march
Didn't think about the planes, trains, cars,
One-hit-wonder movie stars
And I didn't think about the rain..."
that's only part of it, but does anyone remember it?!
I loved that song! And now its like it doesn't exist! I don't know who its by...
But, like, I search for the lyrics and nothing comes up, and I try to find it on limewire, and on Kazaa, but it finds every song with rain in the title except that one!!
Does anyone remember it!?!?

Why is it so hard to succeed in arts careers? Like, why don't people ever make much money?
It takes a lot more skill to make good art/writing/acting/music/whatever, than it does to, say, make phone calls and order packaging (my dad's job, lol). So why can't people ever make money enough from that? Cause I'd really love to be a writer as my career...

That sudden rant was because of the song "Paper Rain" by Amanda Stott. I love that song :)
It kinda reminds me of Carmi, but he's not a writer. Basically, its about a writer who's so deep into his work he's basically bringing himself down, and ignoring all the goodness around him...actually, I'll post the lyrics =) and you should give it a listen...

Wide-eyed, maybe that's true
But most of the time I can see through you
You say I'm too sweet for my own good
But when your anger let you down, I, understood

You're burnin' up from inside out
While you're writing your life down
There are things that you can't see
And one of them is me

You've been walking in a paper rain
There is a storm inside your head
On this perfect day
Come down from your cloud and walk my way
And let the paper rain
Just blow away

Tell me what I should do
When you want to paint a day every shade of blue
Is it too late for us to shine
Can you crawl into the light and just be mine

Your world of words is so unreal
Sometimes I wonder if you feel
The same emotions that I do
When I'm close to you

You've been walking in a paper rain
There is a storm inside your head
On this perfect day
Come down from your cloud and walk my way
And let the paper rain
Just blow away

Do you wonder what would happen if you let me in?
Are you afraid to give yourself away?
Will the fervor disappear and then I come crashing in
Crashing in to the light of day

You've been walking in a paper rain
There is a storm inside your head
On this perfect day
Come down from your cloud and walk my way
And let the paper rain

You've been walking in a paper rain
There is a storm inside your head
On this perfect day
Come down from your cloud and walk my way
And let the paper rain, hey

You've been walking in a paper rain
Storm inside your head
On this perfect day
Come down from your cloud and walk my way
And let the paper rain
Just blow away
---------------------

*purr* I like that song
At least, that's what I thought the song was about, y'know?

Oh, and I was kinda at a block in my For My Melanie story, cause, I'd kept writing without really knowing what I was gonna do next, so it was really crappy. So I sat and wrote a half-assed story outline for it. Me-style, of course...its like
"so what the hell is gonna happen?
Harol comes and is annoying, moves up the battle date, skip Lara talking to Enre because that part sucks..."
Et cetera
So I'll probly be writing that during religions/art for a while =)
Yeah, I'm not slacking in my classes, I'm just doing work that's not for those classes.
It not like I don't do anything

Hey, I think Cassy's online now...

Cassy was getting mad at me a while ago for not having a life...but I mean, you don't have to go to a bunch of extra-curricular activities to be a good person, or a smart person, you know?
She was like, 'how can I ever have you as a commander in my army?' (lol, she thinks she's gonna take over the world...which would actually be pretty cool)
But it like...its not like, just because I watch talk shows instead of going to drama club or something, doesn't mean I'm not smart, or that I couldn't do something like that.
I have REALLY good ideas, but I seem to have trouble expressing them in spoken words, I'm better at writing them down.
So it would be like, I wouldn't be good at GIVING a speech, but I would be able to write a damn good one.
In my opinion at least.
And I think having the freedom (as in not having all these clubs to go to), is good for that, cause I have more time to think and write and philosophisize(which is definatly not a word, but you know what I mean).
So its not like I don't have the same capacity, I only express it differently.
But, for the record, I get very good marks on the debates in my religions class.

Oh, and Cassy IS back, so, I guess I'll stop ranting now XD
I'll be so happy if someone actually reads this <333
rai_ryu: (Default)
Well, I've got a whole bunch of things to say...so this journal will be big and long. I wasn't talking about one of those scary things >_<

So
Today was sposed to be my sad emo day, because its the two-year anniversary of when Cassy broke up with me. I don't really feel like being sad and emo though, so, I probly won't :D
However, I'm gonna post the lyrics to an emo song. Really, the guy who sings this sounds so emo, but I love this song XD
ew, but he doesn't sound as emo as Gary Jules *pukes*
here we go~

Konstantine - by Something Corperate

I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you, in my big dreams

And you tell me
That it's over
Wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover
And you're restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking
no, could you let me go
I didn't think so

and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope
You had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did, because of me

And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no
And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

I had these dreams, in them I learned to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
But damn it you're so young
But I don't think I care
and if I hurt you then i'm sorry
Its just this guilt has got the best of me

And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what it's like to be alone, no
And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

And Konstantine is walking down the stairs
Doesn't she look good
Standing in her underwear?
And I was thinking, what I was thinking you know?
But she's been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long blonde hair
And I've been thinking, what I was thinking you know?
But we've been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere

This is because I can spell konfusion with a K
And I can like it
It's to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it
It's to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
But this time I'm alone
And I don't see those stars
I'm not your star
Isn't that what you said?
what you thought this song meant
you thought this song meant...

And if this is what it takes
just to lie with my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
All the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine
My Konstantine

They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
Hey, You know, you keep me up in bed
This is to a girl who got into my head
with all these fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine

Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you

I miss you

And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no No,
And then you'll kiss me in your living room, oh
And you see, no
That I've been missing in my living room
yeah this is what I missed, what I missed
We don't have much room
I said, does anybody need that room?
Because we all need a little more room
To live

...My Konstantine.


:D its a pretty cool song...<3
Actually, I couldn't seem to find lyrics that matched the version I've been listening to :/ artists always seem to change the lyrics when they sing them live, don't they?

oki doke, next item on the agenda!
I was watching Halloween: H20 last night XD
I love the Hallween movies, and especially Michael Meyers <333
But it got me thinking as to why Michael makes a perfect killer. You know, not just cause he can kill people, but other reasons that make him scary, y'know? I say 'you know' too much.
ANYWAY

1- The Mask - He wears a mask, so his facial expression never changes. I heard this described once on an episode of Law & Order. The victim is trying to find some clue as to how they can make the killer stop, but if they can't read his emotions because of the mask, they have to clues to what he's thinking.

2- Silence - Michael doesn't talk at all. He doesn't laugh, sing, I don't think I've ever heard him make a sound vocally, actually. This goes with the same theory as above, only using vocal clues instead of facial expressions.

3- Consistancy - He doesn't seem to change at all. Doesn't really get angry or anything. He's always just calmly walking towards you at a steady, even, pace. This makes him seem a lot less human. He'll just go towards his goal no matter what happens.

But, in H20, the dude who played Michael really sucked. Seriously, he couldn't get Michael's walk right at all. He walked slightly like one of those gangsta people >_<
H20 is actually one of the sissiest Halloween movies. Michael only killed...two people. UHG. Three people died all together, but the other guy was shot by the other ppl who thought he was Michael. Losers. And Michael got all mad and was throwing around tables. Great, now it looks like an episode of Cops.
The other ones I've seen were much better. Except for #3. Which sucked ass. Seriously, Michael wasn't even in it.
I could rant forever about that movie.

Umm, next topic then, I guess.
The next topic is sex.
ew
Cause I've been thinking about reasons why I don't like sex, you know, other than just not liking it.
This is gonna be a little hard to explain.
These aren't really in any order.

For one, I don't exactly get 'turned on' :/
I went with calling myself 'asexual' for a while, but that bothered people more than me saying I was gay -_- I don't really see why its so confusing for them...jeez.
So, even though I'm gay, I don't look at a naked girl and get turned on. I mean, come on people, she's ONLY naked. This goes with my famous quote of "So if there was just a boob lying there, you'd get turned on cause it was a boob?"
yeah. But really, grow up people. its just a naked person, no need to get all excited.
Sure, naked girls look good. Very good. But that's good to my eyes, not my crotch.

And here's another thing, when I was growing up, all that was on TV was those 'lovers lane' stories where the guy is always pressuring the girl to have sex (lol, maybe this is also why I'm a lesbian). I figured guys were jerks because they always made girls have sex, and that's not what girls want.
But nowdays everyone's pressuring everyone to have sex, it seems. I good example is the show Friends. I like that show, its funny, but all of them had slept with eachother, it seems. And they all have sex with everyone all the time.
Ok, maybe not that extreme.
But sex is so casual now, it doesn't mean anything. Now its like, you're not normal if you DON'T have sex. Its like, 'seriously, what's wrong with you?'
Now I'm getting rambly, but whatever.
I hate it how everything has to be about sex. They say stuff like "Its the most fun you can have with your clothes on!". But really, there are millions of things in thise world better/more fun than sex.
And how, two people, like, in movies, always have to end up having sex. They can't just kiss, no, they have to have sex. And even in real life. Can't you just, sleep beside the person you love? Why does it have to turn sexual at all? It seems so cheap now, there really isn't any point. I've said this before, that in a world will people will sleep with just anyone, just to satisfy their body, how can you think sex is special anymore? Don't try to justify it to me by saying its a way to show your love. Show your love my making the person into the big crowd of people who have sex? Turning them just into another 'anybody'. In my opinion, its far more special NOT to have sex with someone. It shows that you don't see them as just something to pleasure yourself with. Yes, I would rather kiss you than make out.
And sex also seems a little cheesy or stupid too. Example, in movies, they seem to have sex at the drop of a scarf.
The movie Underworld: Evolution will be my first example. Don't get me wrong, I love that movie. But here we go...when Selene and the dude (sorry man, forgot your name...was it Michael?) were in the garage kinda box thingy, he goes to tend to her wound and she's like 'Michael, its alright' and he looks and her wound is healed (duh, she's a vampire). And then they start making out. Like, wtf? So its like "Oh, you're healed? Lets have sex"
Seriously, what's even remotly sexy in that part? "You're not injured? That turns my on soooo much!". That sex scene didn't bother me that much though, because they make an awesome couple, and they love eachother so much. But still, dudes, its was corny! LOSERS. And also, at the end, they kill the guys, then start making out. 'We just killed them, lets make out!' while there's blood and guts everywhere. Yeah. Romantic. Sure. But really, how do people get turned on at random times like that?
And the movie, History Of Violence (crappy movie, btw, don't waste your money on it). First sex scene. The dude's wife says "we never got to be teenagers together, I'm gonna change that". You can tell its gonna be stupid. They get home and she dresses up like a cheerleader. Yes, cheerleader outfits are very cute. But the dude doesn't see anything wrong with his wife being dressed like a highschool student? He must be like, 40 or something, his hair's already going grey, and she's dressed like a highschool student. Creepy. And then she does some stupid cheer, and jumps on him. Actually, it looked kinda painful. Anyway, fast forward a bit, and he pulls off her underwear (white lacy thong I think. Jeez lady, you're old, get over it. I'll rant about thongs later). And he whirls it around and says "ta ra ra boom dee aye~". Seriously, get a grip dude. How could you possibly stay turned on after something as corny as that, lady? But, they have sex anyway. He says something like "I never knew I'd have a wife like this" and she says "No wives here, buddy". Ok, if all the other stupid stuff before that didn't stop you, that should. What, you're not my wife? Then why the hell am I having sex with you? Seriously, it pissed me off. WHY would he not want to think of her as his wife? Seriously, why?
Next sex scene starts like: She's found out about his violent past, and she's yelling at him and crying, and she's scared of him, right? And she slaps him a whole lot, and she's trying to get up the stairs, but he's grabbing her leg and pulling her down. He succeeds in pulling her down and he's on top of her. I was like 'oh god, he's gonna rape her'. But guess what? Crazy Lady grabs his head and starts making out with him. Yes. A second ago you were scared of him, lady, you were both trying to kill eachother. And now you're making out. And so he pulls off her underwear and they have sex on the stairs. That would probly be rather uncomfortable. I wish they would have fallen down the stairs, that woulda been funny.
But its just like, the slightest things turn people on these days, at least in movies. And its stupid and cheesy and really, they're just losers.
typical scene:
Lady: *walks into shoe store and sees a hot clerk guy*
Hot Clerk Guy: May I help you?
Lady: *smiles slightly embarassed about her fantasies* Yes, I'm looking for a pair of shoes
*they go over to the shoes*
HCG: *helps her try on a pair* How are those?
Lady: Those aren't my size
*they have sex*

Well really. 'Those shoes aren't your size? Lets have sex!"
UHG.

More things wrong with sex...
Well, there's more, but I'm bored of this topic now. So I'll move onto the next, thongs. lol.
Really, what's sexy about a thong? Its just an eternal wedgie. 'Your underwear is shoved up your ass? How sexy' seriosuly folks, it looks damn uncomfortable too.
http://www.streetcarparty.com/photogallery/boozecruises/2003mardgras/images/thong.jpg
http://www.gazette.uwo.ca/.%2F2005%2F02%20february%2F10%2Fscans%2F01b%20thong.png
They leave me thinking, OUCH that wedgie must hurt. Plus, there's nothing there. They're hardly made of ANYTHING. They're like...having a bra that only consists of the straps.
In my opinion, panties look much better. lmao.
But really, they're cute. They're totally more cool than thongs.
http://www.phenster.com/template-images/a13-journal-images/panties/panties-gorge-2.jpg
They're cute, and they don't look like the girl just got wedgied by every member of the football team at the same time. Those girls in the thong pictures, really, it was like, they had toilet paper stuck up their butts but it was their underwear.


Hm, what else can I rant about?
Other than that Cassy totally sucks. LOSER.
Going back to my previous thing about cheesy sex, here's Cassy's version:
'There's a large group of people here, lets have sex!'
You suck dude. Totally.

Hm...
Now, I gotta think of things to do other than the chores I'm sposed to...

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