Speech

As some, or none of you may know, communicating through speech is not entirely my strong point.
So, if I go out of my way to try to do it, it's a little hard to do with communication blockers put up in front of me. Having learned about communication blockers in school (lol I know I'm asexual shush), I suppose I tend to notice them often. Not that I can really do anything to change them.
So this already difficult task is made worse.
Not only that, but everything I have worked out in my head sounds stupid coming from my mouth. And, with all those blockers I get flustered and forget the plans anyway.
I know exactly what I'm trying to say, but I can never say it right, so I never get my point across.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. I understand that it's important, but when both sides aren't really trying...why would I go through the horrible struggle of trying to speak my mind?

The worst thing is when I talk and it seems like no one's listening, or that they don't really care.
Why should I talk if it won't even make a difference?