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looong time
May. 27th, 2006 12:58 pmI think my sister wrote the last entry O_o
But wow, I AM gay.
I decided to come back because Maten has found its way back into my life again. And this is the only place where people actually know about it. But not really cause no one reads this.
Wow, its been a LONG time since I wrote here...it's fun to look back on old entries.
this "suicidal friend" I had will be my first issue addressed...well, condensedly:
he went out with my friend
he turned into a phsyco control freak
we told my dad who told the cops
they broke up
he probably wants to kill me
he might be dead and I hope that he is.
yeah, basically.
But, back to the reason I'm here. Maten.
Just when I thought I'd given it up, stopped thinking about it, stopped wanting to go back. When I thought I'd gotten over Drayc.
I was listening to a song, and...because of recent problems that I will not discuss, I decided just to let my heart open. Because I'd been thinking with my brain to much. I decided, why not just let it go?
and then.
It all came flooding back.
All those feelings and memories about that place. And now I wish I could go back. Part of me doesn't want to leave this world, but my Youkai side is back and I miss Maten.
Even Demona, a little. At least I was something there, y'know?
And Drayc.
Cassy convinced me I should forget him, and never let him come back.
and I did. When I left my mother's I swore to leave him behind. That's why I didn't take his picture with me. But he's back now.
He's trying to be, at least.
I keep saying that he can't. He can't just come back like this.
But my Youkai side is calling for him.
If I WERE to go back to Maten, I doubt I'd be able to resist him.
which is bad...because a)I have a wonderful girl here who I care about b) I swore I'd leave him behind!! c) I'm gay. which makes this confusing.
But yes, thank you LJ, so I can talk about Maten again.
Try to convince me to come back, Demona. If its you and not Drayc giving me these memories back.
And don't convince me and then refuse me entry. I know your WAYS Demona! *shakes fist*
But wow, I AM gay.
I decided to come back because Maten has found its way back into my life again. And this is the only place where people actually know about it. But not really cause no one reads this.
Wow, its been a LONG time since I wrote here...it's fun to look back on old entries.
this "suicidal friend" I had will be my first issue addressed...well, condensedly:
he went out with my friend
he turned into a phsyco control freak
we told my dad who told the cops
they broke up
he probably wants to kill me
he might be dead and I hope that he is.
yeah, basically.
But, back to the reason I'm here. Maten.
Just when I thought I'd given it up, stopped thinking about it, stopped wanting to go back. When I thought I'd gotten over Drayc.
I was listening to a song, and...because of recent problems that I will not discuss, I decided just to let my heart open. Because I'd been thinking with my brain to much. I decided, why not just let it go?
and then.
It all came flooding back.
All those feelings and memories about that place. And now I wish I could go back. Part of me doesn't want to leave this world, but my Youkai side is back and I miss Maten.
Even Demona, a little. At least I was something there, y'know?
And Drayc.
Cassy convinced me I should forget him, and never let him come back.
and I did. When I left my mother's I swore to leave him behind. That's why I didn't take his picture with me. But he's back now.
He's trying to be, at least.
I keep saying that he can't. He can't just come back like this.
But my Youkai side is calling for him.
If I WERE to go back to Maten, I doubt I'd be able to resist him.
which is bad...because a)I have a wonderful girl here who I care about b) I swore I'd leave him behind!! c) I'm gay. which makes this confusing.
But yes, thank you LJ, so I can talk about Maten again.
Try to convince me to come back, Demona. If its you and not Drayc giving me these memories back.
And don't convince me and then refuse me entry. I know your WAYS Demona! *shakes fist*
