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Rambling on
Feb. 24th, 2010 11:22 pmI have a feeling the word "rambling" comes up too often in the titles of my journals.
Anyway, this probably won't be very long or informative.
But, I'm really fed up with school. It's problematic, because I love learning, and I am in school for something I WANT TO LEARN, but they format in which they are presenting it is pretty much useless to me and makes it hard for me to take in the information anyway.
Since I went to college, for something like cooking especially, the focus is mainly on finding you a job/career. This is fairly useless to me since I never intended on having a job in the culinary field anyway. So while they do teach you the food theory, and practices on how to actually make the food, a lot of it is also "This is how you be a chef" and mock "on the job experience". I really like my theory teacher, Chef Phillipe, because he's knowledgable and actually teaches us the things behind what we're doing. But, sadly, as other people paid for my education, they're expecting me to get the certificate. This means going through the courses that are completely nonpertinent to my goals.
While working in a restaurant as both front and back staff might be useful to someone actually considering that as a career, its just frustrating for someone like me.
And while at times I kind of exagerate my "choice" of going into that program, I really feel as if it were a non-choice disguised as a choice. My new wife had told me that if I didn't go to post-secondary, she would end the relationship (quite a sudden change of heart so soon, I must add). University was out, since I didn't have enough U courses, and since she had succeeded in making me doubt my artistic abilities, I felt I needed to get into the one program I knew would accept anybody that I still had an interest in. That's why I picked cooking, because if I was going to waste my time, I might as well pick something useful.
Now, I wish I'd picked something a little more creative, and, for lack of a better word "bookish". I realized long ago that I can't deal with the practical aspect of cooking. Not that I can't make anything, but I seem to fail around other people and in a kitchen environment.
I shouldn't have let her put down my art and writing (something I'm still recovering from, as shown by the lack of creative work I do these days). But at the time I was so worried about losing her that I put all of that on a back burner. If I had known she'd leave me anyway, after it was too late for me to withdraw from college, well...who knows if the story would have been different, but I would like to hope so.
In any case, I will cease rambling (since this ended up longer and probably more depressing than it should have been).
Feel free to tell me how your life's going, too, if anybody reads this.
Anyway, this probably won't be very long or informative.
But, I'm really fed up with school. It's problematic, because I love learning, and I am in school for something I WANT TO LEARN, but they format in which they are presenting it is pretty much useless to me and makes it hard for me to take in the information anyway.
Since I went to college, for something like cooking especially, the focus is mainly on finding you a job/career. This is fairly useless to me since I never intended on having a job in the culinary field anyway. So while they do teach you the food theory, and practices on how to actually make the food, a lot of it is also "This is how you be a chef" and mock "on the job experience". I really like my theory teacher, Chef Phillipe, because he's knowledgable and actually teaches us the things behind what we're doing. But, sadly, as other people paid for my education, they're expecting me to get the certificate. This means going through the courses that are completely nonpertinent to my goals.
While working in a restaurant as both front and back staff might be useful to someone actually considering that as a career, its just frustrating for someone like me.
And while at times I kind of exagerate my "choice" of going into that program, I really feel as if it were a non-choice disguised as a choice. My new wife had told me that if I didn't go to post-secondary, she would end the relationship (quite a sudden change of heart so soon, I must add). University was out, since I didn't have enough U courses, and since she had succeeded in making me doubt my artistic abilities, I felt I needed to get into the one program I knew would accept anybody that I still had an interest in. That's why I picked cooking, because if I was going to waste my time, I might as well pick something useful.
Now, I wish I'd picked something a little more creative, and, for lack of a better word "bookish". I realized long ago that I can't deal with the practical aspect of cooking. Not that I can't make anything, but I seem to fail around other people and in a kitchen environment.
I shouldn't have let her put down my art and writing (something I'm still recovering from, as shown by the lack of creative work I do these days). But at the time I was so worried about losing her that I put all of that on a back burner. If I had known she'd leave me anyway, after it was too late for me to withdraw from college, well...who knows if the story would have been different, but I would like to hope so.
In any case, I will cease rambling (since this ended up longer and probably more depressing than it should have been).
Feel free to tell me how your life's going, too, if anybody reads this.
