rai_ryu

I keep switching back and forth between being excited and extreme amounts of irritation and stress.

I finally got fed up with my crappy sewing machine, so I traded it in for credit toward my new one - new to me, but an older model (much older). When I tried it out in the store it worked just fine. When I get it home, tension problems. Uhg uhg. I know nothing about adjusting thread tension. They never taught us in school because they didn't want us screwing up the machines. I've tried the top tension, the bobbin tension. I can't get anything to work. Tomorrow I'll try some more, then I don't know...ask the guy at the shop.
It isn't easy to bring it in and have it looked at, because it is part of a table, not a portable. Still trying to get used to that (and it would be easier if I could get it to work.)

My dad has been making some homophobic comments lately. I don't understand how he could, since he knows about me. Or at least thinks he does.
I'm going to be getting my top surgery hopefully sometime soon (I'm hoping on this year, if all goes well). I will probably have to come out to him either before or after it happens. But what do I say? "Dad, I want you to call me your son, but actually I'm not not a boy, but rather genderless". HA. Yeah. He's going to say something like "What book did you read that in!" or "No, you are my daughter!" and I'm not going to be happy.
The thought of getting my surgery makes me unbelievably happy. There's no way I'm NOT going to get it - I don't care what he thinks, but having to deal with him afterward is going to be really hard. I wonder if anybody will understand.
God I am thankful for my friends. They know me and they accept me.
I'm not in a very good mood right now, I guess, but hopefully that will go away if I can ignore his asshole comments.

Oh, and at the university in my town there is an anti-female campaign going on. Negative posters and emails being sent around telling women they shouldn't have the rights that they do. Events have been cancelled because of safety issues. My dad doesn't think it is a big deal. Maybe because he has never had to be discriminated against in his whole life.
And I hate being seen as a woman, and "expected" to take offence because "I am a woman". I am NOT a woman, but I was born into this body and had to deal with the same discrimination it comes with. I am not a woman, but I still won't accept women being threatened and discriminated against, especially in such a place as a university.

Uhg...I'm going to not ramble anymore.