Because...

I think...
Whenever things get hard here. That's when I wish I could be in Maten. Because then I wouldn't have to deal with all the problems here. In Maten, Drayc is waiting for me. I wouldn't have to worry about whether She Loves me and what to do about her
I could just disappear and forget about all this.
Maybe.
But I know I can't go back. And I know I don't really want to.
It just may be my instinct to run when I can't deal with things.
And I want to be with Her. But there are things between us.
Distance. And respective girlfriends.
I don't fear that I can't keep Her Love anymore. But I fear that I will be gutless when the time finally comes for our Love to bloom.
Will I be too afraid to show my true feelings?
If that happens
I'll lose Her.