Day 7

A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you



Pinery Provincial Park.
If a place could save your life, this would be it.
I can't even begin to explain the way The Pinery makes me feel. I couldn't be sad there, and if I was, I think I would somehow feel ok about it.
One night, when we were camping there, we took a walk to the beach at night. It was a full moon, a warm summer night. It's way out there, so you can see every single star in the sky. The beach was lit by the blue light of the moon, and I walked into the water in pure awe. I think that after that moment, there was no way I could ever not believe in the Goddess. It is hard to explain, it's just something that you have to feel.
I went there again, when I was sure my fiancee was going to leave me. But I felt alright. I felt at peace and I felt understanding - not of the situation specifically, but of the world in general. Like everything would be fine and everything was working itself out like it should.

It might be strange that a place has such an effect on me, but when I was younger and forming "who I am", I really didn't have anyone to open up to. I survived on my own but the one thing I could turn to was nature. Time and time again it has helped me out. So I feel it only proper that it takes its place as the thing that has had the most impact on me

Day 8 and other things

Short-term goals for this month (December since November is practically over)
-Get my SIN card updated so that I will at least have the ability to apply for jobs
-Finish my Amestrian Army jacket
-Make some progress on a writing project

I hope those happen, although I've grown an aversion to leaving my house so the first one might be hard.

I had a long phone conversation tonight in which I actually talked and expressed myself at least vaguely well. I never talk on the phone, so I am still shaking with fear as if I had just given a speech. But the person I was talking with is a friend of mind who is a very nice person, so it was not as hard as talking to someone else. I may be hanging out with them tomorrow which will be another first for me.
I worry about the kind of things I should say to people and how open vs how closed I should be.

I got some books from my Grandad's house this weekend. A lot of war books - oddly enough, as much as I'm against war, I am so fascinated by it. A lot of my characters/storylines deal with war in some form. So I want to learn more about it, or at least the wars that have existed in our world.
I also got a couple books by Isaac Asimov. A book on our solar system, which amuses me greatly, and a book on extra-terrestrial life. Also things that very much interest me.
I'll have a lot of reading to do which is kind of daunting, since I'm trying to tackle the bible right now, but at the same time it is exciting because I'd like to learn these things.

Anyway, I thought I had more to say, but I don't really. Which is probably good for you.