![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rai_ryuEither you accept that the monster doesn't exist, or you accept the monster for what it is.
But you can't live while hating yourself.
Sometimes I think that I'm a terrible person. Sometimes it really worries me.
I have always tried to remember two options
a) I am not terrible, based on the evidence of the times when I am good to people, and the amount of bad things I keep myself away from
or
b) I am a terrible person and that will not change no matter what I do, so there is no point in feeling bad about it.
Either one can rationalize away the feeling, it can keep the panic away for a little longer. I don't know if it is thoughts, feelings, or actions that makes someone a bad person. I don't know what the deciding factor is.
but I know that you can't get anywhere by treating yourself as the enemy.
You have to always be on your own side, no matter what.
But you can't live while hating yourself.
Sometimes I think that I'm a terrible person. Sometimes it really worries me.
I have always tried to remember two options
a) I am not terrible, based on the evidence of the times when I am good to people, and the amount of bad things I keep myself away from
or
b) I am a terrible person and that will not change no matter what I do, so there is no point in feeling bad about it.
Either one can rationalize away the feeling, it can keep the panic away for a little longer. I don't know if it is thoughts, feelings, or actions that makes someone a bad person. I don't know what the deciding factor is.
but I know that you can't get anywhere by treating yourself as the enemy.
You have to always be on your own side, no matter what.
