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Trials and Tribulations
Feb. 18th, 2007 10:17 pmWhat the hell does tribulations mean?
Anyway, I've been so busy lately. On thurs I went to Centre in the Square with Laura to see some chicks sing 80's songs. They were all so pretty...and they coulda totally all been lesbians X3
There was the femme one, the butch one, the gothy-punk one, and the artsy one XD so awesome...
Then I slept over at Laura's, and on friday it was semi (my semi outfit rocked...I'm putting pics on my deviantart probly tomorrow)
A girl danced with me :D
A nice hippy-girl named Nikki. Because I was dancing with a cup of ginger ale during a slow song, and she felt sorry for my patheticness. So she danced with me. She's so nice ^^
I danced the entire semi...which was from like...7 til 12. I'm too lazy to figure out how long that is. Cara was there with her girlfriend...they are SO cute together!! I got a pic of them kissing <33
Then last night I slept over at Kates.
That's where the trouble lies.
She was on the phone with Jeems a lot when I was there. N all they did was fight. Seriously, I don't know how the hell they're still together. I think he threatened to break up with her, n she said "fuck you, I've got Rai if you do that"
But, even though I still kinda like her, I really need to resist going out with her again.
And also...I've been trying to find some answers about, uh, my gender issues. I've got this feeling like...I'm not supposed to be either gender, that I'm just supposed to be...nothing.
The thing is, I already have enough problems due to my asexuality. I don't think anyone would ever wanna go out with someone like me, who doesn't like sex.
Imagine if I had no genitals.
That would be near impossible.
I dunno...it really, bothers me...because, I've got the choice of not being who I am and finding a girlfriend who loves me for something fake, or, following what I believe and running the huge risk of never finding someone.
I can't stand it.
Love is basically...what I'm living for. My biggest mission in life. Everything I want and need.
And if I couldn't find it...
that's one of my biggest fears.
Cassy says I'm awesome and of course I'll find someone, but I'm not too sure about that.
uhg, I don't wanna think about it...it makes me feel bad...
but, I just don't know what I should do.
arg
ew, school tomorrow.
I wanna skip math class for the rest of the year.
But, my dad will whine if I do that.
ew
I need to fill out my job application...
Anyway, I've been so busy lately. On thurs I went to Centre in the Square with Laura to see some chicks sing 80's songs. They were all so pretty...and they coulda totally all been lesbians X3
There was the femme one, the butch one, the gothy-punk one, and the artsy one XD so awesome...
Then I slept over at Laura's, and on friday it was semi (my semi outfit rocked...I'm putting pics on my deviantart probly tomorrow)
A girl danced with me :D
A nice hippy-girl named Nikki. Because I was dancing with a cup of ginger ale during a slow song, and she felt sorry for my patheticness. So she danced with me. She's so nice ^^
I danced the entire semi...which was from like...7 til 12. I'm too lazy to figure out how long that is. Cara was there with her girlfriend...they are SO cute together!! I got a pic of them kissing <33
Then last night I slept over at Kates.
That's where the trouble lies.
She was on the phone with Jeems a lot when I was there. N all they did was fight. Seriously, I don't know how the hell they're still together. I think he threatened to break up with her, n she said "fuck you, I've got Rai if you do that"
But, even though I still kinda like her, I really need to resist going out with her again.
And also...I've been trying to find some answers about, uh, my gender issues. I've got this feeling like...I'm not supposed to be either gender, that I'm just supposed to be...nothing.
The thing is, I already have enough problems due to my asexuality. I don't think anyone would ever wanna go out with someone like me, who doesn't like sex.
Imagine if I had no genitals.
That would be near impossible.
I dunno...it really, bothers me...because, I've got the choice of not being who I am and finding a girlfriend who loves me for something fake, or, following what I believe and running the huge risk of never finding someone.
I can't stand it.
Love is basically...what I'm living for. My biggest mission in life. Everything I want and need.
And if I couldn't find it...
that's one of my biggest fears.
Cassy says I'm awesome and of course I'll find someone, but I'm not too sure about that.
uhg, I don't wanna think about it...it makes me feel bad...
but, I just don't know what I should do.
arg
ew, school tomorrow.
I wanna skip math class for the rest of the year.
But, my dad will whine if I do that.
ew
I need to fill out my job application...
