I'm always dragging that horse around
Jan. 24th, 2012 12:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rai_ryuI have not been sleeping well at all lately. I think my mind is mostly just racing.
My relationship is going very well, and I'm getting closer and closer to my girlfriend. I guess I'm just not used to being close to someone again? So at night my mind races with warnings to myself not to get too attached, or I feel an inner turmoil, a sort of anger at myself for letting someone into my nice comfortable antisocial cocoon. I don't know, I'm weird and crazy and my craziness doesn't like company, or something.
Despite that I totally love her and I don't want things to change, and I DO want to keep getting close to her. I'm just not used to it again.
I'm watching Hoarders right now and it always makes me want to clean, even though obviously I'm not a hoarder (although I guess it isn't obvious to the internet). I misplaced my actual MP3 player back in December, somewhere in my room. Now I have to use my old one, the first one I ever got. It's irritating because the driver's don't work anymore, so I can't add music. It's filled with emo songs from my last relationship, so mostly I have to listen to the radio on it, but the reception is bad and there's so many advertisements. I hope I find my regular one soon *sigh*.
So I sort of resolved to leave the house at least once a day, and since I resolved that I have. Makes me feel at least a little more productive. Tomorrow I have to start working on costumes again.
The one guy on Hoarders has a whole wall of books, and I kind of want it. If I ever did hoard something it would be books. One of the biggest reasons I'm looking forward to moving out is so that I can get many bookshelves and fill them all up.
My relationship is going very well, and I'm getting closer and closer to my girlfriend. I guess I'm just not used to being close to someone again? So at night my mind races with warnings to myself not to get too attached, or I feel an inner turmoil, a sort of anger at myself for letting someone into my nice comfortable antisocial cocoon. I don't know, I'm weird and crazy and my craziness doesn't like company, or something.
Despite that I totally love her and I don't want things to change, and I DO want to keep getting close to her. I'm just not used to it again.
I'm watching Hoarders right now and it always makes me want to clean, even though obviously I'm not a hoarder (although I guess it isn't obvious to the internet). I misplaced my actual MP3 player back in December, somewhere in my room. Now I have to use my old one, the first one I ever got. It's irritating because the driver's don't work anymore, so I can't add music. It's filled with emo songs from my last relationship, so mostly I have to listen to the radio on it, but the reception is bad and there's so many advertisements. I hope I find my regular one soon *sigh*.
So I sort of resolved to leave the house at least once a day, and since I resolved that I have. Makes me feel at least a little more productive. Tomorrow I have to start working on costumes again.
The one guy on Hoarders has a whole wall of books, and I kind of want it. If I ever did hoard something it would be books. One of the biggest reasons I'm looking forward to moving out is so that I can get many bookshelves and fill them all up.
